Several years passed and then I got married and had Jack. After I gave birth, I was on a progestin-only pill called Micronor. Progestin-only was important because it has less effect on breast milk production. But it also has a high failure rate. And I started it while I was still bleeding from childbirth and it made it so I didn't STOP bleeding for 90 full days. And I think I only stopped bleeding because I had a meltdown and threw the pills out the window.
Then I started one called Sprintec. It has 3 weeks of active pills that are all the same hormone-releasing type of pill, so there's no weird changes or fluctuations of levels during the month. I stayed on that one for more than a year. I loved it. Except that the main reason birth control pills fail is human error. You basically have to take the things at the same time every day. Like, if you're off by more than 3 hours, it can effect the ability of the pill to prevent pregnancy.
So I decided to be done with pills. I had a Mirena implanted yesterday. The theory being that with no chance of human error, it will have a better success rate than the pills. I'm going to blog about my experience with Mirena for my own memory's sake, so I can relay to my doctor what all has happened, and so maybe someone else trying to make a decision will stumble upon this blog.
I went in at 1:00pm yesterday, November 20, 2012 to have the thing put in. After all the prerequisite paperwork and counseling, we got down to business. With a speculum displaying my internal organs, the doctor first swabbed my cervix with betadine to sterilize the area. Then he shot some numbing spray up there there stung like ice. Then he says, "okay, you'll feel a little pinch". OHMYGODOWWWWWHATTHEHELL! I don't know if he gave me an actual shot of some kind of numbing medication, or if that was my cervix dilating, but it hurt like hell.
"Now you'll feel some cramping". Before he even got the sentence out, I wanted to curl up and die. This was like, "high school level, I need to stay home and try not to puke", period cramping. It was awful. The nurse that was helping the doc saw my discomfort and tried talking to me about Thanksgiving. I was like, "yeah yeah, I'm making green bean casserole OOOOWWWW WAAHHHH!" I appreciated the effort, but it was not working.
So then he got the device up into my uterus, which I couldn't feel. Then it took him a few minutes to get the strings in the right place and to have everything sitting where it was supposed to, meanwhile I feel like I'm about to poop from all the cramping.
It took a total of about 10-15 minutes before he was doing something to stop the cramping. He got my cervix to clamp back up and the cramping started to dissipate. So I got all cleaned up and put my clothes back on and he sent me on my way with a prescription for some "just in case" antibiotics.
I had some mild cramping for the rest of the day, but I popped a bunch of ibuprofen, so it wasn't terrible. This morning, I woke up with cramping again, but it feels like first-day-of-a-period cramping. So, while not totally comfortable, it's manageable. I'll take some more ibuprofen throughout today, and it should be fine.
I went to the appointment yesterday 4 days into my period (because IUDs are more easily inserted during menses apparently). And I'm still spotting but it's not bad. Hopefully that will subside in a few days and I'll feel normal again.
Basically, after braving the grocery store on the day before Thanksgiving (because I'm an idiot), I plan to come home and lay on the couch with a heating pad and Netflix.
